A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize