Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
