I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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