plz talk dirty to me
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Is it because I queefed?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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