forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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