i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
