worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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