is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
