is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
