he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I need to sanitize my soul.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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