Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
