Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
