In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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