I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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