We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
