i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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