just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
