I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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