Your face is a jimmy john
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
