you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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