i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He has the fingertips of a God
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
