Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
