Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
