I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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