There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
