called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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