I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
