This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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