Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
you never un-have a 4some
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
