Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize