im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i would punch a child for taco bell
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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