the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My life is pants optional.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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