she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
