I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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