barbara walters just said penis...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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