At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
