he wants to bone in the snuggie
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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