Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
