I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
