Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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