Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
