I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
