She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
