It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
