i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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