yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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