I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
barbara walters just said penis...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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