Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
