Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
