bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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