Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
