check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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