I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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