you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
