the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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