Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
did i just pee glitter
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize