He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
